Memories of the Past
by Eric Northman's Angel
Summary: When my dreams started, I didn't know what to think. As I start to remember, what will happen, and more importantly, will I survive what's coming for me? Are they dreams or memories of a different time? Only one person can answer that, Ares, God of War.


**Memories of the Past**

A/N-I don't own Xena, Warrior Princess. Xena, Ares and Gabrielle belong to USA Studios. I don't own or profit from them, but if I did, the Ares/Gabrielle issue would've been solved by Seeds of Faith. So this is how I thought it should've gone. Bear with me, this is my first fanfic, and I'm in need of a Beta. If you are one, and would like to Beta for me, please PM me.

Now, that the disclaimer is done with, on with the story. Everything up to Seeds of Faith happened, except Xena's pregnancy and Gabrielle's marriage to Perdicus, he was killed by Callisto. Everything after that, it goes really AU. For some reason, this story wouldn't leave me alone and I like the idea of Ares and Gabrielle as a couple. I've added things to make it suit the story, so like I said, AU, and Ares will really be OOC. Please be gentle with the flames. Thank you.

Warning: Serious Xena bashing, and I've turned her into the bad guy along with Eli. If you don't like, then don't read. Since I've done so much serious tweaking, the story will actually start the night before Xena and Gabrielle meet up with Eli. Story's in first person, so it switches mostly between Gabrielle and Ares. Please let me know what you think of it and what I can do to make it better. Thanks!

**Chapter One**

**Gabrielle's POV**

I sat in front of the fire, my arms balanced on my knees, watching the flames flicker. I'd just woken up from another nightmare, the same one I'd been having since my 25th birthday; a dying woman, with a sword wound in her side. Somehow, I felt like I knew her, like it was a memory of a past life.

**Flashback of Dream**

Ares stood to my left, unable to save me. He wasn't allowed to, by orders of Zeus. All I could think was 'I don't make me leave him, not again.' What's this about 'leave him again'? I only met him 2 years previously. I wore armor similar to what Ares wore every day, carried a sword and Xena's chakram at my waist.

Why was Ares there crying? He can't stand me. Why does he care so much, and why do I feel such sorrow, knowing that he'd be alone until my next life? When was the battle and who's the woman who makes me feel betrayed. I'm not going to ask Ares,because that's like kicking a hornet's nest. I don't like the way we act around each other. He's evil, so why do I look forward to the next time he drops in? I'm having detailed dreams about being his wife. Could they be unlocked memories?

The dreams got worse since Ares orbed us into the jungle and my fight with Mavakan. I've never felt so scared as I lay dying on the battlefield. I dreamt about him when I was 16, so when met Ares at 23, I just thought he looked like the man from the dream.

Ares ran over to me, sending God-bolts at any mortal, stupid enough to get in his way. He pulled me into his arms, holding me tightly and saying, "It's ok, Ari. We'll be together soon. You'll start remembering on your 16th birthday when the dreams start, and lead you back to me. I'll come and get you on your 25th birthday and start training you. Stay safe until I come for you. Goodbye for now, my love."

I raised my hand to his cheek, rubbing a thumb soothingly across his heek. When my hand dropped, I had left a bloody handprint on his cheek. Ares kissed my forehead gently and leaned our foreheads together, singing an old Grecian lullaby and whispering soothing to me as I groaned and sobbed as I drew my last breath. My body faded into nothing as he watched me float up with a sad smile.

End of Dream Flashback

At that point, I always wake up sweating, and unable to go back to sleep. So like always, I clean myself up, get dressed and pack my gear. I always end up staring at the fire, and waiting for sunrise. The dreams weren't always about my deaths, of my times in battle. Sometimes hey were about us, making love, of doing things together, talking about the future, if I succeed, and being a normal couple.

Xena never twitched, even with me crying out. She used to jump up, ready to kill someone. That she slept through it made me wonder if she would sleep through an ambush. I'm beginning to feel like I'm in danger, which was crazy. She's my best friend and she's always taking care of me.

That was another thing, she had recently become very kill happy again, like she's reverting back. Now she just sleeps with a smile on her face, like she knows what's happening in her dreams and she's enjoying them.

I sat there with my cleaned and sharpened Sais in hand, the tips resting against my boots, I watch the night around me, firelight glowing around me. I can't help but feel alone, and that something's going to happen today.

**Ares' POV**

I leaned against a tree behind Gabrielle, thinking about what needed to be done. Offhand, I thought about how much she's like Ari.

I'm mad at myself for almost causing what would've been the end of the world. I'm just glad I figured it out before everything went to Hades. This is way worse than what happened with Hope. Dahak said that if I didn't Hope imprenant with the Destroyer, he would kill Gabrielle. I couldn't let that happen.

As I sat watching her, I saw who she had been, who she is, and who she will be. I saw more than a girl, more than Xena's sidekick. I saw all of her pain, all of her joy, and I promised myself, this time I'll do things right.

When I saw Xena twitch, I decided I'd better leave before she woke up. She would tell Gabrielle about my new habit, and Xena would never let me hear the end of it. She'd use it against me, as an excuse to hurt Gabrielle. I'd taken to watching over Gabrielle at night, so that she got some sleep. I promised myself I'd talk to her after I'd dealt with the new threat. So softly she barely heard me, I said,"Soon, my love, soon." I left, the wind caressing her face like a gentle hand.

**Gabrielle's POV**

I heard Ares' voice behind me, and I turned around with a frown. I turned towards the tree he leaned against not even 30 seconds previously. Finding no one, I thought it was the wind, like a hand touching my face. I let it go and turned back, watching the sun rise over the tops of the trees. Lately, I could sense when he was going to visit.

Xena turned over and woke up, opening her cold blue eyes, and got up asking, "How long have you been awake, Gabrielle?"

"Not long, I couldn't sleep." I replied, looking off into the distance, frowning and thinking about my dreams and Ares. Since when are Xena's eyes cold when she looks at me? We're going have a talk and figure out what's going on with the both of us.

"Okay then, let's get going. Eli's waiting for us." She turned, and grabbed her gear, and rolled up her bedding, and put it on Argo's saddle. She didn't even bother asking if I was ok, seeming not to care that I haven't been sleeping well lately, causing me to think that she got too much on her mind as it is, so I just left it alone.

I got up and grabbed my bag, getting ready to go. When we both got to the road, Xena riding Argo, and I'm walking toward Delhi. The earlier feeling came back as we neared town. Xena and I didn't talk the whole 3 hour trip from the campsite to the great city.

If I had known what's about to happen would change my life, I would've run screaming for the hills. I didn't know if I would be for the better or the worst, but I was about to find out, and that's what scared me.

Eight Hours Later

I turned my back to the stage for a second to talk to someone in the crowd and heard the sound of metal scraping on leather. When I jerked around, Ares was standing in front of Eli, his short dagger in his hand. I saw Ares move and I knew it was too late to stop him. Ares stabbed his dagger into Eli's heart, killing him. The feeling I had had this morning came true; it's too late to stop him, and it scared me.

Ares withdrew his dagger, and returned it to his sheath. He turned towards the people around me, watching me with the brown eyes, I remember from my dreams, and disappeared in a lightning infused orb. He only uses that orb when he's upset, I remembered.

I turned away, hot tears running down my cheeks, and blinding me to all but the thought of getting away from there. I ran for the desert outside town, needing to be alone and grieve privately.

As I walked over a sand dune, I came across a tree trunk, and thought, 'that'll work perfectly.' I walked until I was a distance and spun around. I bent and drew my Sais from their holsters in my boots. Straightening again, I took up a stance, and twirled my Sais, feeling nothing but disgust at myself for not stopping Ares.

I threw one hard, and it to whistled through the air, hitting the tree with a meaty thud. Then I threw the other one, causing it to vibrate on impact with the tree.

**Ares' POV**

I stood to the left of the tree, watching Gabrielle work out her anger and grief. I'm angry with myself for causing her pain, but I know her future if Eli lived, thanks to the Fates. They knew any threat to her was to be brought to me immediately, to be dealt with.

One threat down, one more particularly nasty one left. This one could break Gabrielle, if I'm not careful. I have to protect her, and I won't lose her again. Not in this lifetime, I love this version of Gabrielle too much to let her die. It means breaking rules, but Zeus already gave the go ahead, so I'm going to use it. Xena won't know what hit her. By the time it's over, she'll be permanently dead and gone, no more rebirths for Xena. I wish I could stop her myself, and save Gabrielle the heartbreak, but it's Gabrielle that must kill Xena, according to the prophecy.

**Gabrielle's POV**

As I walked over to retrieve my Sais, I wiped my cheeks and raised my hands to retrieve them. Suddenly, I smelled leather and sandalwood, something I'd always attributed to Ares, causing my breath to catch and me to swallow thickly.

"I know you're here, Ares. Show yourself." I said, resigned to suffering his presence, and him telling me to leave and go home, or go off and do my own thing. I never say anything to Xena about it, not wanting to anger her.

Ares sauntered over from the spot I sensed him hiding in. He raised his hand, and wrapped in around my wrist. Lately, I feel strong and capable, but he makes me feel weak just being in his presence. "How did you know it was me? I know for a fact, I don't give you goose bumps like Xena, so how did you know?" I already knew the answer. He's trying to test me, and see how much I remember from my previous life.

"Sandalwood and leather. I smell it before you drop in on us for a 'visit' lately. It's why I'm never naked when you visit. Funny though, Xena never mentioned the smell, or anything about goose bumps."

"Good for you! You're getting better at reading danger in the area around you. I give her goose bumps to piss her off and start a fight with her. I didn't start with the new smell until about…"

"Three months ago, on my 25th birthday, after my fight with Mavakan, which you caused, by the way!" I snapped, angry once again.

"Yes, good for you. You said you noticed on your 25th birthday, and that Xena can't smell it as well? That means you're almost ready. Well, well that's good. I only did it for you anyway. I'm very impressed. Mavakan had to fight you, I needed a way to get rid of her."

I looked at the strong hand wrapped around my wrist, passed the black leather gauntlet, up passed his muscled arms I remember holding me through the night, past the black leather vest, over his strong shoulders, that I liked to rub my face against after making love or just cuddling, his chest that I liked to snuggle into and felt so comfortable, to his handsome, solemn face.

I noticed he cut his hair and I like it. His silky black curls are tamed, facial hair neatly trimmed, and the earring I gave him in place. I gave him shit if his hair got as long as I've seen it in this life. I'll remind him of that the next foreseeable chance.

When I met his beautiful brown eyes, I found them warm and sorrow-filled, pleading for forgiveness. I ignored thoughts of forgiving him, and jerked away, yanking my Sais from the tree in the process. I won't acknowledge the fact that he's only killed people around me if someone threatens my wellbeing.

I'm so angry to see him so soon after Eli's death. I stopped thinking of Ares as the God of War, after the Scroll Incident. It makes me laugh even years later. His sister did stuff like that to us all the time in my previous life.

"Ares, what in the name of Hades are you doing here? I don't want to see you right now, maybe never again." I walked away, and whipped around, to find Ares leaning against the trunk, arms crossed over his chest, watching me as he waited for my next move.

Seeing him again angered me so much, I released a Sai at his chest. He saw it coming and caught it, the sharp point touching the skin on his chest above his heart.

"You're getting pretty good with these." Ares said, feeling proud of how far I've come since leaving Potidaea, and smiling.

When I saw what I thought was his usual smug smirk, I threw the other one, and he caught it an inch from him eye. He raised his eyebrows as if to say, 'that was close, wow.'

Ares watched as I stalked up to him, and with one slim finger pointed at him said, "You did it! You did it!"

He replied meaningfully, and with heat, "I did what I had to do, to keep you safe."

I yanked my Sais away from him, and turn away. He grabbed my arm, and turned me back to him and placed my hand under his vest, over his heart, holding it when I tried to pull away. As I felt his heartbeat, I realized despite his solemn face, he was as upset as I was.

I pulled away, my back to him, as I walked away. Ares realized even when I didn't, that I trusted him at my back, and thought to himself, 'finally'. It never even occurred to me I was doing it. I'm always so careful around him, and distrustful of his motives. He's been trying to earn my trust for months, since my fight and win over Mavakan.

As I turned, he walked to the side, watching me release my grief and anger, placing his hand against the side of the stump. "I didn't." I murmured softly, finally letting go of the grief and anger.

I twirled both Sais around my fingers, and threw them both at the tree. I felt my anger draining as I relaxed and worked my muscles. As I went to retrieve them, he said, "You can take the moral high road all you want, Gabrielle, but I can see that you know the truth. It had to be done!"

"What truth is that, Ares?" I questioned softly, already guessing his answer, but wanting to hear it from him.

Ares walked up behind me, gently placing his warm, rough hands on my bare shoulders, thumbs moving in a soothing rhythm against my skin. "That might is right, even when it's wrong. He brought this on himself by declaring war on the Gods. I talked to the Fates, and they said that you would've been dead within a few hours of that rally. He would've sacrificed you to his 'peaceful God'. I couldn't let that happen, not again! I won't lose you ever again! I left you alone when Xena went after Caesar and it caused the Hope issue. Dahak made me sleep with her to spare you."

I turned around in his hold, seeing something I never thought I see from Ares, God of War: love. "Why are you here bothering me again, though? What do you mean by again? You never…" I stopped realizing just how true my dreams were. "I wondered why you willingly slept with the Spawn of the Devil."

"Just think about how it could be, Gabrielle; I continue to train you, and you temper the side of me that goes too far. You're the only one truly safe with me. You're my salvation, my hope, and my future."

"Why, so you can get Xena back? I won't be a pawn to use against her. I'm not your anything." I replied stubbornly, my past and my dreams with him, made me unwilling to give in, and get hurt by him again.

"I don't want her anymore. Since your fight with Mavakan, I find myself craving a little blond ass kicker I have a past with; with you." He smiled softly, brown eyes lighting up.

"You can't have me either. You've caused too much pain to me. Besides, for you it's always and will be Xena. What could've changed that? Nothing! You want Xena, not me! It's always been like this, in every damn life we've shared, especially when I was Ari. I'm always the last one picked, the last one waiting for you to realize who I am! You always go after Xena first, and eventually you remember who I am to you. You come to me, say you're sorry, and I take you back. I won't let it happen again!" I'm hurting so badly, I pulled out of his embrace and turned away. I'm always unwanted until the last damn second. Knowing I'm second choice, and he'll never love me.

"It has nothing to do with Xena and everything to do with you. It's not her I'm worried about. She would've ended up using the dagger that kills you and joining him. Eli isn't as peace loving as he seemed. Everything's changed: I found you again and after so long without you, I won't lose you again. I'll protect you with my life, always and forever. You were born late; otherwise I never would've touched Xena. I thought she was you. I never know what you look like until you grow up. I'm forbidden to even see you, much less talk to you or touch you. When you were 23, I came to get you and start training you, but you were gone with Xena, and she threatened to kill you. She's training you to allow her eliminate threats and keep you weak. She thinks I'll use you to make her take up her mantle of General again, and she's scared you're better than her. I kept flirting with her to get her off who you really are, but she's known her damn whole life who you are. I never counted on that. There is no unlocking of memories for her; she has them as soon as she's born. That's why she's insane now, the buildup of evil lifetimes and horrible memories. For you it's different; you remember a little at a time, as a defense against going insane. I needed to keep her mind off killing you. If she touched you, I would've tried killing her. It's not my job, it's yours."

"How do you know that Xena and Eli would've killed me?" I asked, ignoring the rest, and put my Sais back their holsters.

"He's one of Dahak's spawn, and he wanted revenge against you for killing Hope and the Destroyer. I'm just glad I stopped him before he killed you."

I shook my head in denial, unwilling to believe that my best friend was the woman who killed me. Ares sighed, and almost left, disgusted with the way the truth was keeping me away from him, until he heard someone coming over the hill. He pushed me behind him, unwilling to risk my safety with me painfully human. Xena appeared over the hill, riding Argo at a gallop.

As I was getting ready to call out to Xena, Ares shook his head, and warned me off. He crossed his arms over his chest, one hand dangerously close to the hilt of his sword, if he needed it.

Xena rode up saying, "What in the name of Hades are you doing with Ares, Gabrielle? You can't trust him, you know that! We have to go now!" Something about the way she moved scared me and Ares felt it, so he shifted closer, and blocked Xena's view of me. Her cold eyes were flashing in the sun. I can see why she was one of Ares' best warlords.

As I walked from behind Ares, I rubbed a soothing hand up and down his back and felt him relax. He shifted into my hand like a big cat and I heard purring coming from him. I walked up to Argo, and Xena pulled my chakram. "I can't kill you Ares, but that doesn't mean I can't kill her. I told you to leave her alone. I won't let you train her, and use her to make me lead your army! Next time you come near her, I'll kill her! I know the prophecy; she can be used to control me!"

I backed away from Xena, actually hearing her talking about killing me was scaring me. So she knew who I was, but she thought Ares was going to use me to make her his general. I'm the only one that could kill her. Apparently, she didn't know about that part of the prophesy, probably never had. No wonder she looked at me with cold eyes. She thinks Ares' going to make me get her to lead his legions. Ha, good luck with that. She'll be dead before I let that happen.

Ares gave Xena a veiled look, orbed out, and orbed back in behind me, gently wrapped his arms around me, and orbed us out again, stopping me from trying to kill Xena before I was ready. I was reaching for my Sais as she yelled at Ares, her word echoing in the desert, "Damn it, Ares bring her back here right now! You know what will happen when I get her back!"

**Chapter 2**

When we appeared again, we were in the Halls of War. Where once were weapons and darkness, now the weapons were in wooden cases, and the front room was filled with light. I looked up and noticed that he added a skylight. There weren't offerings of dead animals, as they weren't allowed here. Ares' thrown is a beautiful dragon with sapphire eyes, his sacred animal. As I got closer, I saw an eye blink and realized he found a real dragon somewhere.

I pulled away asking, "Why did you bring me here, Ares? You know I won't lead your army anymore than Xena will."

"I no longer want her too. I just want you to understand what will happen if you choose to stay with her. She's aware of most of the Prophecy, just not that you can kill her." Ares pulled me back into his arms and orbed us again, this time to a large building on Olympus.


End file.
